(btw... obviously this post is mostly about poop so feel free to not read on lol ...sorry Draz!)
I think I'm going to have to give in and take me an effing laxative... or something to get my frakken bowels back to a less impacted state.
I'm kinda stubborn and I thought I could just will my bowels into regularity... nope.
Apparently bowels are not responsive to a "good talkin' to". I just try and avoid pills even OTC at all costs. I've tried prune juice but it ain't doin' the trick!
Do I need to align my poop chakra?
Everyone knows I'm a fan of the happy dance... and I've been doing the rain dance to try and bring on some rain in this horrible drought. I think maybe a dance could help out my current situation...
Ok, tonight before you go to bed I need you all to do a poop dance for me. I'm not really sure how to do a poop dance... You guys are creative, i'm sure you will think of something. In my mind I see it as kind of a poop polka...
Not feeling the poop dance? Thought it was worth a try.
How about a Poop prayer?
Poop voodoo?
A magic poop spell?
No?
Ok, fine... before you go to bed could you just think to yourself..."Oh man... I hope Julie poops soon"
STILL no?!?!
Ok, just think poopie thoughts for me?... everyone do some simultaneous deep breathing exercises while chanting "evacuate...EVACUATE....EVACUATE!!!"
Ok enough poop talk... I can't end my blog with poop...
So I leave you with this....
Thanks Maria for getting me on an Ermahgerd kick!:)
Praying to the poop gods for you as I type this :)
ReplyDeletekeep praying!!! :)
DeleteI mix miralax into my morning bottle of water each day. It is the best. Thing. Ever.
ReplyDeleteSweet tip...I'm definitely going to try that!
DeleteI did a poop dance for you and said a poop prayer. So......... POOP JULIE, POOP!!!! :-)
ReplyDeletePoop polka - hilarious! x
ReplyDeleteit was prob. the pain meds that got you all....backed up. so you deff. want a stool softner, and then go onto the miralax regimen. you are gonna feel like a million bucks after haha and you will weight a lil less too YAY. very poopie thoughts heading your way.
ReplyDeleteI just drank a lot of prune juice and ate prunes too (they are really good, yes seriously!) ... try that first and foremost before taking a pill!!!!
ReplyDeleteStool softeners, baby. Get them. Plenty of water and wait :)
ReplyDeleteHa, I love the ermahgerd pics - made me smile when I saw Maria had posted something to that tune. :)
ReplyDeleteWill do the poo polka for you tonight. When you're able to exercise, I hear running helps. I have no idea about the validity of this, because I'm no dang runner... but hey. Worth a shot!
I'm sitting here eating some prunes thinking of you. I've had about 9 good poops since you posted this. What's shaking down below?
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and following! Can't wait to watch you shrink more and more! I've got to find out how ya'll get those awesome tickers (I don't know how to do anything cute to my blog). Also, the pooping can be a real bear if you don't keep gulping down that water on a constant basis. Been there!
ReplyDelete