My thoughts are a blur today! I have emerserd myself into my work today to keep my mind off that counter...
In case you don't see my little ticker up in the right hand corner *ahem*
ONLY 1 DAY 18 HOURS UNTIL SURGERY!
It's crazy... It's ACTUALLY happening... Almost a year preparing, jumping through insurance hoops and it's ACTUALLY happening. A part of me is still terrified that something is going to happen at the last second and It won't happen. I'm trying to clear my head of all those crazy thoughts but I really just can't help it ya know? Lots of things going through my mind...
Is this going to work?
What if I fail?
What if there's a complication and I die and leave my family alone?
Am I making the right choice for me?
Should I do the sleeve instead?
Am I going to regret this?
I know this is normal... I know everyone has doubts and fears. I am confident in my decision... I KNOW I will not regret this. I feel like my life is finally starting. I feel like a dark chapter in my life is finally closing and this weight, this body is the last reminder... the last thing I need to shed for full closure. I may post about that later tonight. I'm not sure i'm ready to throw that out in blog land...but I know in order for this blog to be honest and to truly help me I HAVE to talk about it.
But not now... now I'm excited...I'm scared...I'm READY.
The band is safer than the sleeve. You will be FINE!!! I am very excited and happy for you. I wish you the best of luck. My biggest fear was having the band and failing. You will not fail. But you know if you do, at least you tried. So many ppl dont even try. Id rather try and fail then fail by not even trying. You got this girl! You are a mom for crying out loud you are the toughest this on this earth!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks! It's good to hear so many people say they felt the same way!
DeleteIf you weren't scared I would be worried about you. Seriously, everyone gets scared pre-op. TOTALLY normal.
ReplyDeleteYou'll do great.
The reason why I would never get a sleeve: it's a partial stomach amputation. Tummy gone forever. I couldn't do that personally.
Again, you'll do great :) Enjoy the pain meds.
Ha! Glad i'm normal! I agree with you about the sleeve. Some people don't like the band because of having something "foreign" in their body but like you, the thought of cutting OFF part of my stomach scares me more!
DeleteWe were all scared. You wouldn't be human if you you weren't.
ReplyDeleteYou will be fine. Take a deep breath. Sit back and enjoy.
But, just think where your life may be a year from now. I could never have imagined things would be this good!
Enjoy the happy cocktails they insert through the IV!!!
Brenda you are one of the "godfathers" in my book!! You and LBG and Drazil... You guys are my inspiration. You make me KNOW that this works, that it is what YOU make it. Reading your blog has helped me so much! I just hope I am as successful as you at my bandiversary! :)
Deletewicked ditto!!! yes I used "wicked", and yes I am from Boston lol
DeleteI use "wicked" too and I am definitely NOT from boston! LOL
DeleteNow Dandy it's going to be fine!!!! You have already lost more than me without the band....HELLO! Your doing great and will only do better with your band.
ReplyDeleteSo proud of you
I know Michelle! It's like it just fell off! lol now it has slowed way down but still going DOWN which is all I ask for!
DeleteI'm excited for you!! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks! :)
DeleteI am excited for you!.... I had all of those thoughts too... and I also feel like with this weight loss I can let go of some not so great things from my past as well, that may or may not have to do with how I let myself get so overweight..
ReplyDeletehere are some things I wish I asked my Dr. or nrse about or for b-4 leaving the hospital you may find useful too..
ask for Rx strength anti nausea meds you will need it (if anything like me)
ask the nurse for some tegaderm (the clear thin "tape" over gauze) and gauze for the incisions, they say when the old ones fall off leave em off, but the first shower they were done and with kids ya never know what might get on your belly lol so I say change bandages daily, who needs an infection, (or the yeast infection that comes from the antibiotics!) I take em off for a few hours a day to get some air.
if you get liquid pain meds beware it taste so horrible! maybe see if the pharmacy can add a flavor, or just ask for tablets fro myour doc really it is that bad!
and another thing I wish I asked was where to expect pain, like at the incisions or whatever, cuz I found myself thinking is this normal about a million times lol
and GET SOME GAS-X!!!!!
I cant wait to read all about it!! are you staying a noght at hospital?.....
sorry this is so long god I ramble!!
Oh Theresa, You always leave me a novel...That's what I love about you!! :)
DeleteDANGIT! I was just at walmart and forgot the gas-x! I will get some when we get prescriptions post-op. Good thing to ask about the pain meds...
I know I am nuts... it never looks that long while I am typing it. haha I am waiting for your ticker to turn to hours only!!! so excited for you! take pics, and dont let them staple you! lol ok thats all for now....haha
DeleteI never had to use any Gas X or any type of antacids either. Just listen to your own body!
DeleteYoue fears are completely normal. If you go back and read my blog right before my surgery day I believe I had almost the exact same fears. I initially wanted the sleeve, but I was not a candidate for the sleeve (due to Barrett's Esophagus) so I decided on the band. I haven't regretted it even once.
ReplyDeleteThanks girl! I guess things happen for a reason you were meant to get the band!
DeleteDont sweat the yogurt Satans farts will do that to you.
ReplyDeleteIS the that icing or fondont?
It's cream cheese icing, I just used a really big round tip and squeezed out a "pond"
DeleteI totally responded to the wrong post above
ReplyDeletebut for this one you will do great the sugery is not that bad. Make sure you take plenty of before photographs and your measurements you will be glad you did when you loose the weight.
Enjoy tomorrow its your first step into a skinnier world.
my advise remember listen to your body it will tell you your full listen to it and dont trust a fart ;)
Thanks Jim!! And don't worry, i NEVER trust a fart! HAHAHA! :)
DeleteYou are going to do great! I am a new follower and I can't wait to catch up on your story. Have courage to do the "head work" too. That is where the real change happens. So proud for you!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Tina! I am definitely doing "head work" as well. I have worked alot out on my own but I still need ALOT of work. I think in my post tonight I will be able to get alot out. Things I've wanted to say...that are just pent up inside.
DeleteGood luck! Take a picture in a tight goal shirt so that you can watch it get looser and looser!
ReplyDeleteI wish I would have bought a "goal" shirt or dress or whatevs. I've always been big so I don't have any "skinny" clothes. I do have tight tank tops though...
DeleteYou are so ready for this. You are going to do great! Of course you're scared, but as others have said, totally normal. I was incredibly nervous the day before, but then on the day of surgery I was fine. I knew I was doing the right thing. I just knew things were going to be ok, I was completely in a zen state. Will be thinking about you tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteThanks Colleen! I'm hoping for my ZEN tomorrow! Thank you for your thoughts :)
DeleteI am very very excited for you! less than 24 hours to go!! (YEAH!!) I just found your page last night and I have really enjoyed learning about your journey so far!! And I cant wait to see how your journey continues!! I am considering Lap-band and have my first appointment with the surgeon in a couple of weeks!! Can't wait to see you progress!!!! You go girl!! :o)
ReplyDeleteWelcome!! I'm so glad I've been able to help you, that's the reason I started this blog! Feel free to email me at thedandybandy@yahoo.com anytime if you have any questions or anything. You can also find me at www.facebook.com/thedandybandy
DeleteI'll keep you in my prayers. You'll be fine :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Amy! ::hugs::
DeleteYou got this! Only 18 hours now!
ReplyDelete