Friday, May 2, 2014

OH hey there MOTIVATION! It's about damn time I found you!

MOTIVATION

The elusive, mythical and mystical creature...

It's kind of like a leprechaun... or Sasquatch...or the Loch Ness Monster.

People talk about spotting it briefly once, on a dark night through the trees. OH WAIT! I THINK I SEE IT!

Nope....just a rock...

I have been searching for what seems like a very long time for motivation. I did so well, for so long after my surgery. I lost over 100 lbs...I was motivated...I followed most of the rules...umm...most of the time lol But I was motivated... I loved seeing that scale go down...down...down...down...and down some more. It was exhilarating, almost addicting.

Then something happened....

Not sure what....
Not sure when....
      But it happened....

I started eating shitty.... I started drinking cokes and eating candy bars every day. Thank god my band was tight enough that when I ate actual food, you know nutrition... I couldn't eat much so at least I didn't gain any weight...

But I didn't lose any either. I have yo-yo'd from 153 to 160 for weeks....ok months....
OOOOKKKKK it was like a year!  THIS is why I haven't been blogging....
How awesome would a weight loss blog be if all I wrote about everyday was caving in to cravings, drinking 3 cans of coke and eating a butterfinger for breakfast. Probably wouldn't be too inspirational that's for sure.

But that's my fault...and I apologize...SINCERELY...

I promised to give you all of me from the very beginning.... The good, the bad, the ugly.
That's easy to say when it's all good...all gravy...all awesome sauce.
But when you go through a pretty deep winter depression...
eat everything around you...
NEVER exercise....
and lose any glimmer of motivation you had?

Well, it's a lot harder to share that with all these people who tell me I inspire them. Who tell me reading my blog gave them the courage to go ahead with THEIR surgery...
I didn't want to let anyone down...
I felt like I already let myself down and I didn't want to let you all down too.

Now let me backtrack a little and tell you this is how I FELT....not how I FEEL.

How do I FEEL now?

 For the first time in a very long time I feel UH-MAY-ZING....

I have found a rainbow shitting unicorn and rode that unicorn all the way to the end and found the pot of gold..... MOTIVATION.

And I know it all comes down to myself and making a decision within myself to give it my all...but I seriously have to give a LOT if not all credit to 1 person.

I met this person through my boyfriend... they have been friends for forever and it happens to be one of the first people I met through my boyfriend. Like the 2nd night we ever hung out. His name is Michael Avelluto but we all know him as "Luto" which is what I will call him on here (unless i'm posting about his business then I will use his full name)

I knew he was a personal trainer...and I have known that for a year and a half now. I just never thought with us all being friends...and you know...me being broke that anything would ever come of that whole thing.

Until one night while we were hanging out I told him all about how I LOVE exercising and that I am so close to my goal weight and I just need to find that X factor to get me going.

Then the words that kinda...well...changed everything.

"Let me train you"

OH SWEET 8 LB 7 OZ BABY JESUS!

Did he just say that?

Get it together here Julie....Pull up your big girl panties and answer the man...

The only response I could muster up in my internal excitement was .... "ummm...DUH...YYYESSSSS!"

SO....boot camp is where I was invited...every Tuesday and Thursday night at 7.

Yup.....soo....boot camp...
SHIT I'm nervous....
261 lb Julie brain started in....I got all self conscious.

But I was so heffing excited I couldn't sleep the night before. The whole afternoon after work waiting for 7 that first Tuesday I did all kinds of things...
I got my scale hooked up to my wifi and got batteries all in it...

YAY ME!

I took some before pictures in my sports bra and underwears.... (yeah, NO CHANCE i'm posting those until I have some progress pics to post next to them!!!  Don't want to blind anyone SHEESH!)

I will give you one picture though....