My very first WTF Wednesday is brought to you by Lupron injections. (shuts off your pituitary gland...joy)
My commute to and from work is 39 miles... This equates to about an hour drive time... Did I mention this is just ONE WAY?!? I've been driving that for 3 years... How do I do it you ask? I run people off the road...I stop my car, pull people out of their drivers seat and punch them in the face...I drive down the shoulder going 80 when traffic is stopped...I initiate flight mode on my Kia Optima and fly over other cars when I want them out of my effing way! Ok, I have literally done NONE of those things... Instead I think them.. and also scream "WTF are you thinking?!?!?!" When someone decides to just get over into the side of my car without a turn signal. A friendly honk and a little middle finger action usually does the trick. There has been signs for 3 miles telling you the right lane is closing ahead, you ride in it until the cones literally force you into the side of my car and you flip ME off because I didn't bow down to your greatness and let your majesty over in frontof meWhoTFdo you think you are? Are you the effing pope? Are you sooo fricken special that the rules of the road do not apply to you and your mercedes? Well, I say tough tittie...you will get behind me and my Kia Mr. impatient self important pants!
A pivotal moment in my WLS surgery jouney: One night I was out with friends at Houlihans restaurant (or "Club H" as my friends call it) and we were all getting a little roasty toasty with the drinkskies and whatnots. Drunk friend can barely walk and in a very humurous conversation I inform him of my younger years playing football and advise him upon exit I would carry him if he couldn't walk on his own. Fast forward about 2 hours, closing time, standing outside "the clud".. Drunk friend is even drunker and stumbles... I reiterate the aforementioned offer of carrying him to his car (in 4 inch high heels) ... He doesn't believe me... I know I can do it so I just pick him up, baby style in my arms and he's laughing hysterically. Enter rude ass stranger... i've never seen this dude, he was not with our party, never talked to him all night.. He walks right by me w/drunk friend in tow and mutters in my ear as he passes "Of course you can pick him up, YOU'RE FAT" and continues walking.WTF was that?WhyTF would you say that to a total stranger? How would my weight affect my abilty to pick someone up? I'm not strong because i'm fat, my fat does not give me super human strength , it's not radioactive. I'm strong because I'm strong... I was so embarrased I wanted to just run away and never show my face again. Luckily no one else heard it and when I told a couple of them about it they said "what an ass! forget about it, we love you!" Thanks friends, I know you love me and I love you but it's REALLY hard to shake that kind of thing. This was one of those moments I knew I was making the right decision.
Insurance companies.... need I say more? Is there anything more evil and vile on this planet than insurance companies? (health insurance to be exact) So miss insurance lady at my Dr. faxed over my little pre-auth packet to my insurance company last Thursday (YAY!) So Monday I call my insurance company just to check and make sure they recieved the fax and it's being processed andeverything is hunky dory... I sit on hold.. for like 10 minutes WhyTF does it take 10 minutes to look in my effing file? WTF are you doing, knitting an effing afgahn? "what's the name of your Dr.?" .... Hold... 5 minutes... I'm thinking "this bitch better have some good news" ....FINALLY she comes back "Umm, we don't have anything. Can you have them refax it?"WTF are you kidding me?!?! I wanted to crawl through the phone and punch her in her stupid face! So I call my lovely miss lady at the Dr.'s office heartbroken... "Miss lady *sniff sniff* they told me they didn't get it *sniff sniff*" "Oh they always say that!!!" PHEEEWWW!!! She said they drive patients CRAZY because they always say they didn't get it... and everytime you call they tell you something different.WTF is so hard about saying "Yes, we got it and it's being processed. We will let you know when a decision has been made" ?!?!? Seems a lot easier than making this already crazy lady even crazier!!!! So now I wait... patiently... and a little crazy, moody and hot (thanks Lupron!)