My thoughts are a blur today! I have emerserd myself into my work today to keep my mind off that counter...
In case you don't see my little ticker up in the right hand corner *ahem*
ONLY 1 DAY 18 HOURS UNTIL SURGERY!
It's crazy... It's ACTUALLY happening... Almost a year preparing, jumping through insurance hoops and it's ACTUALLY happening. A part of me is still terrified that something is going to happen at the last second and It won't happen. I'm trying to clear my head of all those crazy thoughts but I really just can't help it ya know? Lots of things going through my mind...
Is this going to work?
What if I fail?
What if there's a complication and I die and leave my family alone?
Am I making the right choice for me?
Should I do the sleeve instead?
Am I going to regret this?
I know this is normal... I know everyone has doubts and fears. I am confident in my decision... I KNOW I will not regret this. I feel like my life is finally starting. I feel like a dark chapter in my life is finally closing and this weight, this body is the last reminder... the last thing I need to shed for full closure. I may post about that later tonight. I'm not sure i'm ready to throw that out in blog land...but I know in order for this blog to be honest and to truly help me I HAVE to talk about it.
But not now... now I'm excited...I'm scared...I'm READY.