Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Slumber Parties and Devil Turds


 

I missed my Monday weigh in 2 weeks in a row!! GAH! I honestly forgot it was a Monday since it was a holiday. Also, we had a slumber party at my grandmas house sunday night so I didn't have a scale. See I'm chalk full of excuses! ;)



I know I'm up. I know I'm not going to like what the scale says. I'm prepared. I've just been BUSY. Like super duper head spinning busy. I am committed to making better choices eventhough I know the scale will hate me for a while.
Cottage cheese and peaches *drools* I don't know why I don't eat this more often it was DELISH!


I know the scale will continue to go up for the next couple of weeks due to the medicine I'm taking for donating eggs. I WILL get bloated, I WILL gain weight. That happens when your little egg factory is pumping up like 15 at once instead of just 1. When we tried in June I really didn't feel much and surprise it wasn't working like they wanted. Well, this time they have more than tripled my dose of one of the stimulant medications. I'm actually feeling it this time. I'm hot... A LOT. And I'm bitchy. Oh, and I'm hungry. And want to eat bad things. The other day I told The Hubs on his trek to wally world to pick me up something "sinful" I thought he would be a good hubby and bring me back some sort of healthy treat, maybe frozen yogurt or some fresh fruit. I figured he would have helped me battle my food craving and help keep me on track.

Did he?

Hell to the naw!

I told him to bring me back something "sinful" being playful. He brought me what I believe to be something created by the devil himself specifically to ruin me and my weight loss for the day/week. These things are manufactured in hell and I feel so dirty eating them. I mean, it feels as if I am breaking all 10 commandments when I eat them. I think there may just be an 11th commandment that is hidden deep in the recesses of the bible that says "Thou shalt not consume these little devil turds shat from the bowels of satan himself"
OK, maybe i'm being a little dramatic... but have you tried these little shits??!?!?!
DO NOT BUY THESE!



Seriously folks. These are bad news bears. Does it feel like an orgy in your mouth when you eat them?
Yes.
Does the first bite make your eyes roll back in your head and your leg kick uncontrollably?
Yes.
But will you also feel like you need to take a shower like the dirty little cookie whore you are after you devour 5 of them dipped in milk?
YES!


Just take my word for it my little cupcakes. Don't buy them, don't eat them, don't even be in the same room with room them. They will tempt you and if you are in a moment of weakness you will cave.


I can not in good faith leave you on that note. So here are pictures of my ridiculous child with her honey boo-boo nails at our slumber party.


And here she is making her "Angry Bird" face... she cracks me up FO REALZ!

7 comments:

  1. hahaha love the nails and the angry bird face on our lil darling.. really did make me stop thinking and drooling about the other little darling in this post that shall remain nameless.

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  2. If they make you feel like that I am fo sho going to buy me some :)

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  3. LOL @ the orgy in your mouth! I so want some.

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  4. You are the devil. I didn't need to know these existed. :'( lol

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  5. OMG, an oreo I haven't tried yet... Also, I love the angry bird face. Too cute!

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  6. I am not a oreo fan, never really understood the fascination with them. That angry birds picture is absolutely adorable!!!
    xx

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  7. I am catching up on your blogs today.....and can I tell you that this one right here....it made me smile and giggle so uch that my cheeks now hurt...and I have tears coming to my eyes!! BWAHAHA!! Love you girl!! Thanks for the Monday morning giggles! hehe

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